The Moment the Spit Flew
Years ago, walking through my hometown in the UK, I spotted a Ferrari parked along the street. I stopped to admire it, lost in appreciation for the engineering and the beauty of the car. Suddenly, I heard a sound—a sharp intake of breath—and a glob of spit flew over my head and landed on the bonnet. I was shocked, not just by the act, but by what it revealed. My friend, standing beside me, thought it was the best response possible. We were both car guys, but his resentment had made him angry at the car, while I felt inspired.
That moment captures something universal about human psychology. When you see something you believe is unattainable, yet desperately want, it’s easy to feel resentful. The alternative is to realize you have some power within you to move closer to that goal. At 19, part of me thought that Ferrari could be an option one day if I wanted one. My friend felt the opposite—he would never have it. So he resented it. And the same thing happens as you go through life, especially as an entrepreneur. Pay attention to those moments when you start to feel resentful instead of inspired. It usually means a story is running in your mind: that you will never achieve that thing you really want. Even if you can’t achieve it, it’s better to acknowledge what’s really going on—and that it isn’t the fault of the person who has achieved something. Most importantly, don’t believe you won’t achieve it. There’s actually an unconscious desire for some people to believe they can’t. Examine the kickback: no pressure to try, no chance of failure. As the saying goes, “dare to dream.” The reason you have to dare is because there is inherent risk—the risk of failure. It is painful to fail. But don’t let that stop you from wondering what’s possible and resenting those who have already achieved something you desperately want. It’s all there for the taking. We have never lived in a time that makes it easier to grow businesses. Free resources are everywhere. Implement whatever you can.
The Google Search That Reveals Our Bias
I’m an anxious person when it comes to health. Whenever a celebrity around my age dies, I get an uncontrollable urge to Google why. I needed to know exactly what killed that person—because I was trying to figure out if the same thing could get me. That question—does this apply to me?—is on our minds all the time. And I’ve caught myself doing the same with successful people. Years ago, I thought I would never do well on Instagram because I hadn’t been in the game at the right time. Back then, you just had to make ordinary photographs and be persistent, and you’d get hundreds of thousands of followers. So those who had more followers only got there because they were there at the right time. With that thinking, I let myself off the hook: it wasn’t my fault I didn’t have loads of followers. But that’s just your ego’s way of protecting you, a way of getting you off the hook. There are always reasons why someone got a better deal than you. But if you focus on those reasons, you confine yourself to staying where you are. So I realized I needed to look for inspiration from people doing far better than me, rather than reasons why they had it easy and I’ll never catch up. When you look for inspiration, you at least have hope of moving forward and making your goals more likely. You can’t achieve everything that comes into your imagination, but you’ll achieve a lot more when you look for inspiration rather than excuses. This is a decision on focus. As entrepreneurs, we must focus on what’s possible, not let our brains take us to why we can never do something. It’s a scarcity versus abundance mindset, and it makes all the difference to the opportunities you spot and the actions you take.
The Price of Growth: Criticism and Your Real Tribe
2022 was one of the best years of my business life, but also a year of strain. We got a puppy, helped a Ukrainian family live with us, and offered trainings that some people criticized for being too expensive. When we shared that we had a Ukrainian family living with us, people said it was just virtue signaling. I know this happens to you too. When you first start in aesthetics, the other nurses on the ward criticize you. They think it’s all vanity, or you’re making money out of people’s insecurities, or wasting your qualifications. These are the critics we all face as we progress. Why do they come up with negative points of view? As we discussed, your growth is a challenge to them. If you’re standing still and someone next to you starts to move, it’s a challenge. Are they going to stay still or do something new? Many people who don’t want to move will criticize those who do move. If you’re following me, you’re probably trying to move forward—growing a practice, leaving the NHS, things that cause friction in those around you. You need to know how to prepare for this and navigate according to a better bar than what they might see.
Who are you supposed to listen to? The key is that you are trying to serve a certain tribe of people. Aesthetics is quite tribal, but you get to choose your tribe. Your tribe should be you, your family, your team, and the clients you serve. They should be your judge. My friend Kev from House of Vicki Guy told me when I was talking about industry criticism: “It’s not the people who are buying your products and services who are criticizing you. Just remember that.” That’s where we should look for validation. If you’re starting an aesthetics business and you treat someone and their life gets better, that’s your guide—not what your uncle says about making money out of insecure people. Look for validation in the work you do, not from those on the sidelines who have no skin in the game and are probably justifying their own inertia. This criticism is not directed at you. It is part and parcel of becoming notable. It is the price you pay for development—you challenge those around you. See it as a sign that you are growing and on the right path. Use the people you serve as your guide, and don’t be put off by those who don’t want to move.
The Four Elements of Human Motivation
One of the most useful things I’ve thought about this year is understanding human motivation. It runs from how you market yourself to how you consult with patients. Many injectors think injection technique or anatomy is the primary thing. Of course, you must have that—it’s the core of the product you deliver. But until you understand human motivation, you will continuously get it wrong in how you advise and treat patients. Think about what makes you move. Consider the degree of motivation a patient has when they sit in front of you and say, “Yes, inject my face.” This understanding makes everything else make sense.
Earlier this year, I had a realization about a new aspect of human motivation that I hadn’t fully built into my model. My previous model had three elements:
First, a compelling vision. You need to picture something in your mind that really motivates you, that gets you excited.
Second, a plan you believe will get you there. Think of human motivation like walking up a mountain. If you see the top of the mountain but in front of you is a forest with no path, your motivation to climb decreases because it’s not clear how to get there. So apart from a clear vision, you need a path to get there that you believe in.
Third, trust in yourself to execute that plan. This is about building confidence. If you don’t already have it, don’t lose hope—you can build trust in yourself by executing smaller plans that make you realize you are capable. Take small incremental steps out of your comfort zone to develop trust in your own abilities.
Then I learned the fourth element while in Switzerland talking with many clinicians who were struggling to move forward. I realized that even when people have a compelling vision, a clear path, and trust in themselves, they still don’t move—because they are too afraid to let go of what they already have. Humans will often choose certainty over growth. If you are okay in your job—not that bad, but not fulfilling—you tend to stick with what you know because of fear of losing something good. Reflect on this: once you understand that the fear of letting go is what’s stopping you—not the problem with executing the plan—you can start to develop a strategy to let go. What are the stages you need to change your current position so that it’s easier to let go of the good thing and move toward the great thing?
I hope these insights help you navigate the year ahead. Stay in touch, and keep moving forward.