The Unexpected Regret After a Perfect Facelift
When most people hear you regret having a facelift, they assume the surgery was botched. They imagine visible scars, unnatural pulling, or unbearable pain. That wasn’t my story. My surgery went right—better than I expected in many ways. I’m nearly six months out, and I was happy with the results immediately. Yet, I still have regrets. Not about pain or scarring. Something more insidious. Things I wish I’d known, things I had no way of preparing for. And definitely not the way people react when you’re as open about it as I’ve been.
Let me start with the procedure itself. I didn’t just get a simple lift. I chose an extended deep plane face and neck lift with central compartment neck dissection, laryngeal setback, platysmal and lateral functional platysmal sling. Plus a tiny bit of CO2 laser under the eyes, an upper blepharoplasty, and an under-eye pinch. I wanted everything—I joked about a full head transplant, like Kris Kardashian. But my surgeon pushed back on some things. He said no to brow work because I already have nice lifted brows. He told me, “You need something to do later, right?” He knew I’m the type who likes tweaks over time. So we agreed on a refreshed look, not crazy.
One surprising piece of advice: the upper bleph made the biggest difference. I didn’t even think I needed it. But after surgery, I realized how much that extra skin was making me look tired. My eyes look younger, more restored. I’m wearing way less makeup. If you’re considering any surgery, don’t overlook the eyes.
The Numbness That Changed Everything
They tell you your face will be numb. But the feeling—or lack of it—is unsettling. Your nerves are severed as they move muscles and ligaments. I couldn’t tell how hard I was pressing when I shaved or did lymphatic massage. It gave me a true understanding of neuropathy. Not painful, just deeply weird. Like my face wasn’t mine. I’m still numb in places.
The Real Pain: Emotional and Unprepared
I woke up with zero pain. I even went live on Instagram—though I remember nothing because of the drugs. Day two, my face was enormous, like a scene from The Mask. Uncomfortable, yes, but not painful. I’ve had manicures that hurt more. But here’s the regret: I made it sound too easy. I hear from women who had facelifts after me, and some are angry. They say it wasn’t as easy as I made it seem. One acquaintance vomited the day after surgery, causing a seroma—fluid filling her tissues. Her face exploded. She had an impeccable surgeon, but complications happen. No matter how much you pay, there’s always risk.
I failed to explain the extensive preparation. I treated recovery like a full-time job. Before surgery, I did hyperbaric oxygen chamber treatments five days a week, full red light therapy beds, strict anti-inflammatory diet, supplements, and vitamin infusions. I even delayed surgery because my immune system was compromised by mold exposure. After surgery, I had friends stay with me to manage meds, clean incisions, and change bandages. I hired a plastic surgery patient advocate—the best money I ever spent.
Additional costs most people don’t consider: recovery houses, special bandages, wedge pillows for sleeping upright, time off work, and all those recovery modalities. Budget for these. They affect your final result.
The Illusion of Perfection
Another regret: I didn’t discuss everything in explicit detail with my surgeon. I had a loss of volume on one side of my face—more pronounced now because lifting pulls things back without filling. And those smile lines—nasolabial folds—they’re still there. My surgeon explained that if he pulled tighter, it would distort my lips. We needed that conversation before surgery. You are not a robot. Surgery is not Photoshop. It’s an art form. Every person heals differently. If you’re chasing perfection, don’t do it. I’m not chasing perfection; I’m fighting gravity. That’s all.
The Emotional Trigger No One Talks About
So many women experience an unexpected emotional crash after surgery. I’ve heard from many who felt a loss of control, triggering childhood trauma. Being completely out on a table, someone touching your body, holding your life in their hands—it can be deeply unsettling. I’m not a psychologist, but I know this is real. Don’t go into it lightly. Prepare for the emotional side.
Your Face Becomes a Group Project
If you’re public about it, everyone feels entitled to comment. Strangers tell me I looked better before, that I pulled too tight, that I didn’t pull enough. My friends fight in the comments for me. I don’t care. I’m level 57—I call it level, not age. At this level, you know what matters. But most people aren’t prepared for that scrutiny. Be ready.
Healing Is Not Linear
Months after surgery, I used a new product and my skin’s barrier was disrupted. I got contact dermatitis—swelling, redness, inflammation. Your skin becomes a new organ, thinner and more sensitive. I now use only two actives and a barrier-protecting lotion. Focus on collagen production and texture, not a dozen serums.
Final Advice: Don’t Shop by Price
The best investment you can make is a plastic surgery patient advocate. They’re in your corner, not paid by the surgeon. They help you make decisions, see past a surgeon’s social media hype, and avoid hidden lawsuits or deleted reviews. The best doctors are focused on their practice, not growing their Instagram.
Drop your questions below. I could talk about this for hours. Thank you for listening without judgment. We’re here to support each other.