The Pursuit of "Perfect" Lips
Imagine wanting something so badly that you lose sight of where to stop. That’s exactly what happened to me. I wanted to be sexy, to be hot, to be beautiful. Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw something that needed fixing. And for me, the fix was right on my mouth—the lips. I started small, just one syringe here, another there. But soon, “enough” became a foreign word. I was 29 years old, from Vancouver, Canada, and I had turned my lips into what people called “DSL”—dick-sucking lips. Huge, unnatural, and completely out of control. I didn’t need them to be bigger anymore; I just wanted them to be normal. Not basic normal, but normal. I had seen Dr. Duo and Dr. Narsif earlier, and they rejected me, warning that I was very close to a tipping point where things could go from okay to complete disaster. But did I listen? No. I went bigger. At that time, I already had 11 syringes of lip filler—11 cc in my lips. I kept going every three months, seeing different doctors each time, always asking for a “5 cc” syringe, thinking, go hard or go home. In total, I had 17 syringes of filler in my lips. That is crazy. A lot. I regret not taking their advice.
The Cost of Excess
I’ve been dancing and singing my whole life, but now people don’t take me seriously as a performer. The big lips just scream “superficial” and “fake looking.” They became a distraction. To get my career back, I needed natural lips. So I stopped getting injections. After more than a year without touch-ups, they barely shrank. I had been told the filler was temporary—hyaluronic acid based, like Juvederm. But look at me: I couldn’t fully close my mouth. I would drool when reading my phone or a magazine. Am I a baby? That is not the attention I wanted. I just wanted to dance.
And then, on my 30th birthday, I came back to see the doctors. They remembered me. “Should have put a fork in it,” they’d said before. They asked what I wanted. I admitted, “I want natural lips. I want to go back to my original identity.” The doctors examined me. They felt my lips and noted hard lumps—likely scar tissue from all that overfilled product. They explained the risks: dissolving with hyaluronidase, an enzyme that breaks down hyaluronic acid fillers. But if there was scar tissue, the lips might become asymmetrical, and then surgery would be required—incisions inside the mouth, cutting across the entire upper and lower lip. That scared me. But I took the chance. Right there, they injected the reversal agent. Nothing happened immediately—no reduction. They repeated it. Still little change. “There’s something else going on,” they said. I was shocked. Over the next four days, I came back every day for more injections of hyaluronidase. Slowly, my real lips started to come back. I could feel them again for the first time in five years.
A New Beginning
After four rounds of injections, my lips are the perfect size. No surgery needed—no scar tissue had locked the filler in. I feel like my true self again. My hair is darker, my makeup toned down, brows less dramatic, no more lash extensions. When I look in the mirror, I see me—handsome, natural. The best part? My career turned around. I landed a new gig as a performer. People finally take me seriously. My lips close fully now, no more drooling. The distraction is gone. I’m done with filler forever. The doctors asked if I’d ever do it again. “No, I would never do it again. I’m done.”
I learned that the chase for an impossible “perfect” can lead you to a place where you lose yourself—and what you really wanted was to be loved and accepted. But true acceptance comes from within, and from trusting those who care enough to tell you, “Stop.” Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is listen—and let your real self shine through.